Keith Reddin

TOMMY: …the Justice Department statistics show that sixty percent of all rapes are committed by burglars.

GALE: God.

TOMMY: Thirty percent of all assaults.

GALE: I… well those are…

TOMMY: And how can you protect this home 24 hours a day, 365 days a year?

GALE: How?

TOMMY: The S-2448 system.

WAITER: Look, I’ve had about enough. I’ve been treated with contempt by you for the entire evening and frankly, I don’t need this. You treat me like some sort of indentured servant and I’ve got too much dignity and self-respect to be abused by the likes of you. I have a life, you know. To you I’m just a waiter, some bozo bringing you quantities of food that you then shovel in enormous mouthfuls like some barnyard animal into your foul smelling orifices. Well, I have a name, I have a past, I have loves and disappointments and dreams you know nothing about, you rude mass of polyester. How dare you. I hope you step outside this place and are hit by a large twelve wheeled tractor trailer and they have to scrape you off the pavement with a shovel like some viscous squirrel pulp.

HEINRICH: Why don’t you just clear the table and we’ll pay the check and leave.

WAITER: You want me to clear the table? Is that it? Clear the goddamn table? I’ll clear the table. (He overturns the table, sending food and plates to the floor.)

WAITER: There the table is cleared. (He exits.)

RICHIE: And I start to cry, and I look around at the other people in the airport and I notice that all the other people are starting to cry. And some people are on their knees and they’re praying. And everybody is screaming No No, and we drive home and I turn on the T.V. and everybody on the T.V. is crying and praying and saying no, I don’t believe this is happening and I sort of go into shock. Only nobody told me that afternoon John Kennedy had been shot. I thought the entire country had some to a stop because my parents got a divorce.